Just hand me a stick of gum

Me, kissing Toddler:  Muh!  I keess you.
Toddler, fanning nose:  Ehhhhhh....
Me:  What?  Is my kiss stinky?
Toddler:  Poo.
Me:  What!?  My kiss is poo?
Toddler:  Keess poo.
Me:  My kiss smells like poo?
Toddler, pushing me away:  Poop kiss.  Gwoss.

The art of compromise

Me:  Get dressed.

Peanut:  No!  I am NOT going to school!
Me:  Yes you are.  Get dressed.

Peanut:  No I am not.

Me:  Yes you are.  Get dressed.

Peanut:  NO!  I'm not going.

Me:  Do you remember what happened with lacrosse?

Peanut:  Yes.  But I'm not going to school.

Me:  You are.  If I have to throw you over my shoulder again, you're going.  Now, if you'd prefer not to go to school naked, I suggest you get dressed.

Peanut:  Fine.  I'll go.  But I am NOT wearing underwear.

Me:  Fair enough.