I didn't shake it

I was in the middle of cleaning out the boys' closet, so I didn't ask questions. Moon told me there was red water on the stairway landing. Without looking, I had Peanut get a paper towel and wipe it up. I didn't question how the water got there, or how it got red.

When I saw the stains all over Peanut's white shirt I did ask how they got there. He shrugged his shoulders and told me he didn't know, so I left it at that.

In the bathroom garbage, there was a pile of spit-covered, chewed up fruit snacks. I rolled my eyes and assumed that Peanut had made himself barf again.

It wasn't until I saw the scene on the stairway that everything came together.

Me, empty water bottle in hand: I can't keep up.
D: What?
Me: The messes. It's like having a tornado in the house.
D: What happened?
Me: Peanut chewed up fruit snacks, spit them into this bottle full of water, shook it up, and then dumped it all over the landing.
Peanut. I DID NOT. I didn't shake it.


Developing an expansive vocabulary

Peanut: Mom, when is dinner going to be ready?
Me: In a few minutes.
Peanut: You're a dunderhead.

At least he didn't call me an anus.


Just inside Barnes & Noble.

Moon, giggling: Mom, look.
Me: What?
Moon, still giggling and nodding toward a stack of books: Look.
Me, looking in same direction: What?

Moon nods his head toward a book.
Me: What?

Moon covers his mouth and his shoulders start to shake with laughter.
Me: What?

I take a harder look at the stack of books, trying to figure out what's so damn funny.
Me: Oh, seriously?

Moon is laughing even harder.
Me: Seriously? It's that funny? "Dick" Francis?

Walmart nation

Peanut: Mom, when's my Jenga Fett costume coming?
Me: I don't know. In a couple of days.
Peanut: It should be here today.
Me: It just shipped out yesterday.
Moon: From where?
Me: I'm not sure.
Peanut: From China.
Moon: It's not coming from China.
Peanut: Don't you know? Everything comes from China. Duh!