Hey, the kid just calls 'em like he sees 'em

Me: I need to get a job.
Peanut: You already have a job.
Me: I have several "jobs," but they all suck and none of them pay very well.
Peanut: You get enough money to pay for our house.
Me: Um, no. I definitely don't make enough money to pay for our house. Dad's work pays for our house.
Peanut: Dad doesn't work. He just sits on the couch all day and doesn't do anything.


You what ?!?!

Ever brush your teeth in the shower? I do. Sometimes. Multi-tasking. That's what I did last night, and then I left my toothbrush on the window ledge in the shower, which is at least two and a half foot off the ground and out of the baby's reach. This morning, when I needed to brush my teeth:

Peanut: Oh, Mom! You know that toothbrush that's in the shower?
Me: Yes?
Peanut: Well, Erek was using the toilet and I had to pee, so I had to pee in the shower and I accidentally peed on that toothbrush.
Me: WHAT?!
Peanut: I had to go. It was an accident.
Me: You accidentally peed up that high?
Peanut, smiling: Yes. It was an accident.
Me: You accidentally peed on my toothbrush which is all the way up there on the window ledge?
Peanut: Oh. Well, you can just wash it.
Me: I'm not brushing my teeth with something you peed on.
Peanut: It was an accident.

On the bright side, at least he told me about it before I brushed.