7.24.2009

Probably

Sitting in the ER with Peanut because Moon got angry and kicked Peanut in the hand. It looks like Peanut's finger may be broken. People in front of us include a man who cut his hand with a power tool, a man who got hit by an opening car door while riding his bike, and two women in labor:

Peanut: Mom, why aren't they calling us back yet?
Me: We have to wait our turn.
Peanut: But why are all these people in front of us?
Me: Because they're all injured.
Peanut: But Mom, I need to go in front of them. My injury hurts!

Sitting in a room in the ER, waiting for X-Ray results:
Me: I spy, with my little eye, something wiggly and small.
Peanut: My penis?

Upon learning that his finger is actually broken:
Peanut: Ooh, Moon is DEAD! Mom, what are you going to do to him?

Getting his finger splinted:
Me: Why are you crying? It's not that bad.
Peanut: This is terrible!
Me: What?
Peanut: Now I can't thumb wrestle!

Waiting for discharge papers, admiring his splint:
Peanut: Mom, when my finger is all healed, do I have to give this splint back?
Me: No, you get to keep it.
Peanut: Mom, I don't know this for sure, but when someone gets out of jail, I think they get to keep the handcuffs.
Me: No they don't.
Peanut: Have you ever been to jail?
Me: No.
Peanut: Then you don't know that for a fact.

Later, at dinner, for some reason discussing porcupine penises:
Me: Who has a bigger penis, Peanut, you or a porcupine?
Peanut: Moon!

In the car on the way home from dinner:
Peanut: When I grow up, I'm probably going to be a retard.
Me: Why do you say that?
Peanut: Well, because when I was, like, six and five and four, I was retarded. So, I'll probably be a retard when I grow up, too.