Move over Jonas Brothers

I always think it's nice to have music in the house. D. and Moon both like to play guitar, and Peanut bangs on the drums or piano. We do whatever we can to encourage their musicality.

Or, we did. Until they started writing their own songs.

Peanut and Moon in unison:
My wiener's gi-ant/
gi-ant, GI-ant/
My wiener's GI-ant/
It doesn't fit in my pants.

Me: Boys, just for the record, neither one of you has a giant wiener. You're both little boys with little boy wieners.

Peanut: Dad's wiener's giant.

Me: Especially compared to the two of you.

Peanut and Moon in unison:
My wiener's gi-ant/
gi-ant, GI-ant/
My wiener's GI-ant/
But Dad's wiener's bigger.

Maybe he can get consulting work?

Peanut: So, Mom, all of the Circuit City stores in New Jersey are closing?
Me: All of the Circuit City stores everywhere.
Peanut: Everywhere?
Me: Yes.
Peanut: All of them?
Me: Yes.
Peanut: Even in Michigan?
Me: Yes. Everywhere.
Peanut: Even in Ohio?
Me: Yes.
Peanut: So there are going to be no more Circuit City stores anywhere in the galaxy?
Me: Nope. None.
Peanut: But why are they going out of business?
Me: Because they can't make enough money to stay open.
Peanut: Why not?
Me: Nobody wants to buy what they're selling.
Peanut: Yeah, that's because their prices suck.

Mommy's medicine

Peanut: Why are we going to CVS?
Me: Because I need to pick up a prescription.
Peanut: For who?
Me: For me.
Peanut: Are you sick?
Me: No.
Peanut: Then why do you need medicine?
Me: It helps me be nice.
Peanut: Would it help you get me a blueberry muffin?
Me: Probably.
Peanut: Let's go pick up your medicine.

Barista wisdom

At Starbucks, I'm trying to place my order while getting Peanut under control. He is talking incessantly, repeating the same thing over and over, and knocking down food in the cooler.

Me: I'd like a Triple Grande White Chocolate Mocha.
Barista: Ok, anything else?
Me, eyeing Peaunt: A Xanax?
Barista, laughing: I don't have any kids and that's exactly why. It would have made me crazy.
Me: You know, this morning it's really more my husband than the kids.
Barista: Ah, that I can sympathize with.
Me: He took so long to get ready this morning that he missed two trains. Two! I had to drive him to Secaucus so he could get get to the city on time.
Barista: I wouldn't have done it. I would have let him be late. If he loses his job, oh well.
Me: He had to catch a train to Boston. And he's the breadwinner.
Barista: Ugh. I guess you had to, then.
Me: Uh-huh.
Barista: He's good looking isn't he?
Me: Very.
Barista, shaking her head and rolling her eyes: Men.


Should I be concerned

that my son took a little red sticker that said, "press here" and stuck it to his butt and then pulled down his underwear and said, "Hey Moon, press here!" and then said, "No wait," and took the sticker off his butt, then stuck it to his penis, then said, "No wait," and took it off his penis and stuck it to his testicles, and then shook with laughter while yelling, "Press here! Press my balls. Look, Moon! Press my balls! Mom, Press here! Press my balls!"?

Nah, that's totally normal, right?