Plumber: My guess is, there's probably a pipe under your bathtub that's the old galvanized and is rusted through.
Me: So, you can just patch that, right?
Plumber, laughing: I can patch the ceiling when I'm done replacing your pipe.
Me: Do you take blowjobs in lieu of payment?
Plumber: Bitch, when's the last time you showered?
Me: Half off if I show you a little titty?
Okay, so those last three lines are bullshit, but, can I just say, "FUCK!"
I'm going to have to get a second job. Or, you know, A job.