Drumroll please

Okay, so I know I said I would announce the winner Friday "morning." In my defense, it's still morning everywhere west of here. And, I was busy this morning being "the best Mom in the entire world" (i.e. getting up at 5 a.m. to take the boys to see Green Day's free concert in Central Park). So, I used a random number generator to select the winner from all of the correct entries, and without further ado, the winner of the Clarisonic Skin Care System is SavingDiva! Shoot me an e-mail with your info and I'll get your prize out to you tout de suite!

Now, back to watching the DVR'd concert to see if we were on TV.


Clearly, I love my readers more than I love my children

The proof? My kids don't get Blogiversary presents. You do. Laugh, Mom was born one year ago today (great, now even my blog is going to get saggy boobs), and to celebrate, I have a prize for you (with a retail value of almost $200.00)! One lucky reader will receive the much coveted Clarisonic Skin Care System.

From the inventors of the Sonicare toothbrush, the Clarisonic is employing sonic technology to change the way people cleanse their skin. The Clarisonic's gentle sonic micro-massage action loosens sebum and dirt, unclogging pores without stripping the skin for healthier, softer skin, diminished acne, smaller pores, and after eight weeks of use, a reduction in the appearance fine lines and wrinkles.

My blog and I may be bitter old hags, but we're going to keep one of you looking young. To win, just answer the following questions (the answers are all in the blog) in comments. The winner will be chosen at random from all commentors who answer correctly. Comments close at 11 p.m. on Thursday, May 21 and the winner will be announced on Friday morning. Calling my mom to ask her for the answers will result in disqualification (oh, and you know she'll tell me you called, even if you tell her not to).

Answer questions. Win stuff. Look hot. Happy Blogiversary!

1. Name one thing that Stephen stuck in his anus.
2. Why won't Stacie marry Peanut?
3. Name one place where Peanut has wiped boogers, poop or wiener lint.
4. Which magical creature left $1 for Moon?
5. What is the "F" word?
6. According to Peanut, what do I do for a living?
7. What hurts more, vasectomy or childbirth? (Anyone who answers this incorrectly
will be hunted down and kicked repeatedly in the crotch while "Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta" plays in the background).

One Million Dollars (you have to say that in the voice of Dr. Evil)

Here's how I know The Baby is an evil genius. At ten months of age, he is able to:
1. Say Mama, Dada and Ball
2. Walk
3. Respond to questions by clapping his hands (yes) or shaking his head (no)
4. Take a break from nursing to give my boob juice a round of applause (seriously, that stuff's delicious)
5. Formulate a plan

Specifically, he figured out how to make his favorite tasty snack (dog food) easier for a toothless baby to eat. He loves, loves doggy kibble, but is constantly having it swept out of his mouth while I yell "No! Caca! Nasty!" and freak out about him potentially choking. But today I discovered I don't need to worry anymore. He moved all of the dog food into the water dish, waited an hour, and then went back for a delicious, soggy treat. No more choking hazard. Now I just have to figure out how to get rid of the dog breath.