The first week of kindergarten

In the car before school this morning:
Peanut, putting his head down: Mom, I'm really going to miss you today.
Me: You are not.
Peanut putting his head down further and "crying": Yes I am.
Me: You don't even like me when you're at home with me.
Peanut, picking his head up, laughing and jumping out of the car: I know.

Annie, are you ok?

Today, I saw the dumbest thing I've ever seen anyone do in public. I saw an overweight chick wearing ill fitting pants, carrying a baby around in a sling, absentmindedly dancing to Michael Jackson while walking around the thrift store. I didn't know just how dumb it looked until I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

So predictable

Me: So, did you make any new friends at school today?
Peanut: Yeah, just one.
Me: Are you friends with Andrew?
Peanut: No.
Me: He's our neighbor, you know. He lives just a few houses away.
Peanut: Hey Mom, guess what? Andrew had this shirt on that had all the planets on the back and guess what it said?
Me, already knowing the answer: What?
Peanut: It said Uranus. Ur-Anus. Ur-slash-anus. Get it? It did. Really. It said Uranus.

I'm skeered

In five hours, Peanut has changed his pants four times. The bathroom reeks of honey scented air freshener. The shower curtain is slightly askew.

As a mother, I should investigate.

As a person with a strong gag reflex, I'm going to pretend I didn't notice anything wrong and wait for D. to get home from his business trip.

I'm sure that whatever's waiting for me in that bathroom will keep until tomorrow.

You know you're not getting enough sleep

When you yell at your son, for the hundredth time, to please, please, PLEASE put some pants on, and then for some reason you look down, and you realize that you, in fact, are not actually wearing any pants either, and you're not quite sure when or why you took them off, or where you put them, you know you're not getting enough sleep.