My vaganus is good for something

Looky, Daddy!, is holding his Third Annual Haiku Madness contest, and yours truly is a finalist. Or, my vagina is. Well, technically, my vaganus....

Anyway, I want to win, so, go vote. Unless you think someone else's haiku is better, in which case, you can just go to Hell.

Honesty is overrated

Peanut: Mom, how much do you weigh?
Me: 100 lbs.
Peanut: Really? Wow? That means you're short and plump.
Me: Actually, 100 lbs. is quite skinny.
Peanut: It is?
Me: Yes.
Peanut: Then how much do you really weigh?

Well, now that you mention it

Peanut: I have to pee!
Moon: I'm going poop. Get out!
Peanut: But I have to pee really bad. Get off the toilet.
Moon: I'm pooping!
Me, yelling from bedroom: Just pee in the tub.
Peanut: What cup?
Me: The tub. Just pee in the bathtub.
Peanut: Pee in Dad's cup?
Me, remembering that D. is spending the night at a hotel in the city with no kids to interrupt his sleep: Yes! Dad's cup!