And, I'm going to just go ahead and kill myself now

I'll admit it.  I thought I was hot stuff today.  I decided to take a risk and wear a dress that was just a smidge shorter than my normal comfort zone, with shoes just a bit taller than I'd regularly wear on a Tuesday.  When I walked out in public today, I saw the head of every male I passed turn in my direction.  I did so great with my caloric intake that I didn't feel bad at all about taking the boys out for ice cream.  Because, I was clearly hot stuff.  

Cut to three hours later when two women show up to buy the Bowflex Dave put on Craigslist....

Skinny, tan, young, fit lady:  Oh, how are we going to get that apart to fit it in the car?
Me:  No worries.  Just a few bolts to undo.  Here, I'll start working on it.
Lady: No, no.  You shouldn't have to bend over.
Me:  Really, it's no problem.

As I'm unscrewing the bolts from her god damn, mother effing Bowflex...

Lady:  Wow, it's quiet around here.
Me:  Well, I have three boys, so not usually.  But one is sleeping, one is watching TV and the other is reading.
Lady:  Three boys, huh?
Me:  Yep.  Three boys.
Lady:  Well, hopefully this one's a girl.

Yep. Hot.  Stuff.