Peanut: Mom, my homework for tonight is to write down what my parents' jobs are. What is your job?
Me: I'm a vintage clothing dealer.
Peanut: Yeah, I'm not writing that. What is Dad's job?
Me: He's a Senior Vice President at a Public Relations Agency.
Peanut: I'm not writing that either.
Five minutes later....
Peanut: Okay, I'm done.
Me: Can I see your homework?
Peanut: Yeah. I put that Dad does work and you do nothing.
After he goes to sleep tonight, I'm going to change his homework to say, "My mom wipes butts and otherwise deals with assholes all day."
And then I'm going to start packing a bag for our trip to Nebraska.