Peanut found a ruler today and decided he would like to learn how to measure things. You know where this story is going, don't you?
Peanut: How long is a pretzel?
Me: A pretzel is three inches. See how it lines up with the number three?
Peanut: How about this bouncy ball?
Me: One inch.
Peanut: A lego?
Me: One half inch.
Hours later, while cleaning up dinner dishes, I heard Peanut shout from the living room: I'm going to measure my wiener!
Hoping that he was joking, I turned just in time to see him pull down the front of his pants and line his penis up with the ruler.
Peanut: My wiener is one inch!
I bet he's the only male who's ever shouted that with glee.