5.19.2009

Clearly, I love my readers more than I love my children

The proof? My kids don't get Blogiversary presents. You do. Laugh, Mom was born one year ago today (great, now even my blog is going to get saggy boobs), and to celebrate, I have a prize for you (with a retail value of almost $200.00)! One lucky reader will receive the much coveted Clarisonic Skin Care System.


From the inventors of the Sonicare toothbrush, the Clarisonic is employing sonic technology to change the way people cleanse their skin. The Clarisonic's gentle sonic micro-massage action loosens sebum and dirt, unclogging pores without stripping the skin for healthier, softer skin, diminished acne, smaller pores, and after eight weeks of use, a reduction in the appearance fine lines and wrinkles.

My blog and I may be bitter old hags, but we're going to keep one of you looking young. To win, just answer the following questions (the answers are all in the blog) in comments. The winner will be chosen at random from all commentors who answer correctly. Comments close at 11 p.m. on Thursday, May 21 and the winner will be announced on Friday morning. Calling my mom to ask her for the answers will result in disqualification (oh, and you know she'll tell me you called, even if you tell her not to).

Answer questions. Win stuff. Look hot. Happy Blogiversary!

1. Name one thing that Stephen stuck in his anus.
2. Why won't Stacie marry Peanut?
3. Name one place where Peanut has wiped boogers, poop or wiener lint.
4. Which magical creature left $1 for Moon?
5. What is the "F" word?
6. According to Peanut, what do I do for a living?
7. What hurts more, vasectomy or childbirth? (Anyone who answers this incorrectly
will be hunted down and kicked repeatedly in the crotch while "Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta" plays in the background).

13 comments:

SavingDiva said...

1. Name one thing that Stephen stuck in his anus. Candy, Elephant
2. Why won't Stacie marry Peanut? Stacie has a crush on Grace.
3. Name one place where Peanut has wiped boogers, poop or wiener lint. toilet seat
4. Which magical creature left $1 for Moon? The Poop Fairy
5. What is the "F" word? Fat
6. According to Peanut, what do I do for a living? nothing
7. What hurts more, vasectomy or childbirth? CHILDBIRTH!

Audrey said...

We have our first correct entry from SavingDiva! What? Did you think I was going to publish it and give you all the answers? Cheaters.

David said...

thanks for the laughs (again!) it was fun to re-read that stuff and also sorta terrifying b/c I'm sure my boys will soon be all about poop and boogers and whatever other bodily functions they can use and abuse.
Here's my answers. Hope you didn't want them in complete sentences!!
1. Name one thing that Stephen stuck in his anus. candy
2. Why won't Stacie marry Peanut? she has a crush on Grace
3. Name one place where Peanut has wiped boogers, poop or wiener lint. toilet seat. and clean towels! (weiner lint?!- god help me!)
4. Which magical creature left $1 for Moon? the Poop Fairy!!!
5. What is the "F" word? fat
6. According to Peanut, what do I do for a living? nothing. just like me!
7. What hurts more, vasectomy or childbirth? I'm gonna say childbirth. Having gone natural all the way with my first (to 'get the full experience' I guess). Tho truly the C-section with the twins was worse. Guess that still counts.
Thanks for the contest! now that I'm old and fat I sure could use that face thingie! maybe I'd start actually start washing my face like a grown up instead of just scrubbing it in the shower...
(PS I'm signed into google with my husbands account-- I'm Jen - phogrrl@aol.com)

Audrey said...

And another entry with all the correct answers from "Jen."

BTW, I will publish everyone's comments once the contest is over.

Kimberley said...

1. candy
2. she may pitch for the other team
3. your lovely white bath towel
4. the poop fairy
5. fat
6. nothing
7. Childbirth. This one is easy and supported by the dad that introduced me to your blog indirectly...http://www.lookydaddy.com/weblog/2009/05/ask-the-dad.html

Your blog is among the things that keep me sane. I check it constantly for an update. I live in the suburbs and need a regular dose of something other than the magic of kids...I can adore mine and still recognize they are butts.

Audrey said...

"Kimberley" is very funny, and in the running for a free Clarisonic.

~annie said...

1. candy (Was it a Butt-er Finger?)
2. she has a crush on Grace (Smart girl.)
3. the wall
4. tooth fairy
5. fat
6. nothing (What apparently all kids think their mothers do. Ingrates.)
7. If there is one more child born, there will be no more sex. Ever. So, childbirth.

How to Party with an Infant said...

a pop quiz? Awesome.

Audrey said...

An almost correct entry from ~annie. Just need to pick the other fairy for #4!

Kim said...

Hi
long time lurker from England here. Competitions bring out my competitive streak! Not entering the actually competition as that would make your life way too complicated - I just need to know I got the answers right - I'm sad I know.
1. An elephant
2. Because Stacie has a crush on Grace.
3. On the wall behind your dining table
4. The Poop Fairy
5. Fart
6. Nothing
7 CHILDBIRTH.

Did I get them right? Did I? Did I?

~annie said...

Oops. OK - second try for #4.
I clearly forgot who I was dealing with here.
The answer is "Poop Fairy" of course!

Anonymous said...

Damn, I missed the contest. Is it over? And was that "don't call my mom for the answers" directed at me? Well, I missed the entire contest so I didn't even have a chance. But I would like one of those face scrubbers! Does it do wrinkles?

Audrey said...

Kim, you're good! You got all the answers right!

Kimberley, Thank you. My blog (and the other great parenting blogs I read) is among the things that keep me sane as well.

Donna,
Yep, you missed the contest. And the "calling my mom" comment wasn't directed specifically at you. Though you were certainly on the list of people it was directed to.