Gas, grass or ass. Nobody plumbs for free

Plumber: My guess is, there's probably a pipe under your bathtub that's the old galvanized and is rusted through.
Me: So, you can just patch that, right?
Plumber, laughing: I can patch the ceiling when I'm done replacing your pipe.
Me: Do you take blowjobs in lieu of payment?
Plumber: Bitch, when's the last time you showered?
Me: Half off if I show you a little titty?

Okay, so those last three lines are bullshit, but, can I just say, "FUCK!"
I'm going to have to get a second job. Or, you know, A job.


Courtney said...

Oh, that sucks. I'm sorry! You SHOULD have offered some titty. It's probably better than working :-)

Audrey said...

By the time you're nursing your third child, the value of titty is severely depreciated. At this point, the plumber is probably the only person left on the planet who hasn't seen my nipple.