At the beginning of a spontaneous road trip to a super fun indoor water park:

Me: Who's the best Mom in the whole world?
Moon: I dunno.
Peanut: Not you.
Me: What in the heck are you talking about? I'm taking you to a super fun indoor water park for no reason at all. Who's the best Mom in the world?
Peanut: Not you.
Me: Who's a better Mom than me? Name one person!
Peanut: Grandma Mouse.
Me: Ha! Hardly. Do you know what Grandma Mouse used to give me for dinner?
Peanut: What?
Me: Shit on a stick. Try again. Who's a better Mom than me?
Peanut: Well, I know it's not Dad's Mom, because she tried to hit him with a frying pan when he was a kid.
Moon: Dad says that story's not true.
Me: Oh, no. Totally true. Grandma is definitely not a better Mom than me, either. Try again.
Peanut: Bobby's* Mom is better than you. She hardly ever yells.
Me: What?! Bobby's Mom is batshit crazy! I mean, truly, certifiably, insane. She's not a better Mom than me. Try again.
Peanut: I don't know who the best Mom in the world is. The only thing I do know is that it's not you!


Keyona said...

Ouch. That hurts. I would have turned the damn car around. No water park for you!

Vikki said...

They clearly aren't familiar with that sage advice about not biting the hand that feeds you, huh?

Rock and Roll Mama said...

Dude. I'm so with you. I love how even with the prompting, they fight us.
I got my 5 year old a cool book from the grocery store as a "I'm going away and leaving you with your grandparents for three days and I feel shitty" present, and when I gave it to her she burst into tears and said, "I thought it would be a baby doll, or a puppy! Do you even have any candy?"

These kids and their standards. :)