He's single-handedly paying for Billy Mays' retirement

Peanut: Mom, why are you taking your bras off?
Me: Because it was poking me and it hurt.
Peanut: You need to get Strap Perfect. That will solve your problem.
Me: What?
Peanut: You know. Strap Perfect. Like on the commercial. It comes with clear ones. It will keep your bras from hurting.
Me: Oh?
Peanut: It's only $19.95. Plus shipping and handling.

I should also point out that Peanut owns: Moon Sand, the Betty Crocker 100 pc. Cake Decorating Kit, Pixos, Blendy Pens, the Marshmallow Shooter, and Glitter Lava.

For all interested parties, Peanut's birthday wish list includes: Bendaroos, the Snuggie, Rocket Fishing Rod, and Big City Sliders. Thank goodness he hasn't seen the Burp Gun, yet.

Big brothers don't babysit because

their idea of childcare is bringing down all the pillows from the bedroom to make a "baby fort" (jail, let's call it what it is), to contain The Baby so they can sit on the couch and watch Spongebob.