And then steam came out of my ears and my head exploded

This is the conversation I expected to have when I picked Peanut up from school today:

Me: So, Peanut, I need to ask you something.
Peanut: What?
Me: Why did you pee in your garbage can?
Peanut: What do you mean? I never peed in my garbage can.
Me: Are you sure? Because your garbage can was full of pee.
Peanut: I didn't pee in my garbage can. I wouldn't do that.
Me: Well, you did pee in your garbage can. Is it possible that you were sleep walking when it happened?
Peanut: I guess, maybe. Because I don't remember ever peeing in my garbage can.
Me: It's okay. Maybe you were just confused in your sleep and thought you were in the bathroom.

This is the conversation that actually took place when I picked Peanut up from school today:
Me: So, Peanut, I need to ask you something.
Peanut: What?
Me: Why did you pee in your garbage can?
Peanut: Ho ho ho! Because I felt like it!

And a triple grande mocha smartass

Peanut: Mom, can we go to Starbucks?
Me: No.
Peanut: I wanna go to Starbucks.
Me: No. We're not going to Starbucks.
Peanut: Why not?!
Me: Because I said no. We're not going.
Peanut: Hmph. Well, I guess you didn't take your prescription today.