I didn't shake it

I was in the middle of cleaning out the boys' closet, so I didn't ask questions. Moon told me there was red water on the stairway landing. Without looking, I had Peanut get a paper towel and wipe it up. I didn't question how the water got there, or how it got red.

When I saw the stains all over Peanut's white shirt I did ask how they got there. He shrugged his shoulders and told me he didn't know, so I left it at that.

In the bathroom garbage, there was a pile of spit-covered, chewed up fruit snacks. I rolled my eyes and assumed that Peanut had made himself barf again.

It wasn't until I saw the scene on the stairway that everything came together.

Me, empty water bottle in hand: I can't keep up.
D: What?
Me: The messes. It's like having a tornado in the house.
D: What happened?
Me: Peanut chewed up fruit snacks, spit them into this bottle full of water, shook it up, and then dumped it all over the landing.
Peanut. I DID NOT. I didn't shake it.

Developing an expansive vocabulary

Peanut: Mom, when is dinner going to be ready?
Me: In a few minutes.
Peanut: You're a dunderhead.


At least he didn't call me an anus.