Big, son. Very big.

Peanut: Hey, Mom, in class today we were talking about cow udders.
Me: Why?
Peanut: I dunno. We just were.
Me: Were you learning about cows?
Peanut: No.
Me: Was your teacher talking about cows?
Peanut: No. Everybody was just talking about cow udders.
Me: Ok. Cows have udders. That's where we get milk.
Peanut, giggling: We drink milk from cow wieners.
Me: Udders are not wieners.
Peanut: What are they, then?
Me: Boobs. We get milk from cow boobs.
Peanut: We drink milk from cow boobs.
Me: Furthermore, only girl cows have udders and only boy cows have wieners. Just like people.
Peanut, silent and thoughtful for a minute, then: Mom, how big is a cow wiener?


LiteralDan said...

When you tell him exactly how big, you have to explain that even bulls are not particularly mobile, so they have to make up for it somehow.

Otherwise he might be a bit frightened.

Jeremy said...

Admit it - you said same size as Dad.

Audrey said...

Actually I said, "Dad's wiener makes a bull blush."