First grade NEVER used to be this awesome

Peanut: Hey, Mom! Do you know what happens when people get bullied?
Me: What?
Peanut: They just take a drug. They take a drug so they don't ever have to go to school and see that bully again.
Me: They do?
Peanut: Yeah. That's what happens when people get bullied. They take drugs and don't go to school anymore.
Me: Huh.
Peanut: At least, that's what they used to do. Back in the olden days.

A few minutes later....

Peanut: Hey, Mom! Tomorrow is the end of red ribbon week.
Me: So, that's the end of your don't do drugs program?
Peanut: Yes.
Me: Are you doing anything special?
Peanut: I'm not sure. But I think if we be good at the end of the day we get to make our own drugs.

I couldn't make this shit up

Google searches that have led people to my blog in the last month:

1. Covered head to toe in poop
2. Mom and son boobs
3. vaganus
4. big big boobs and weiners
5. Mom son peeing together
6. pooping baby photos
7. mommy yells at me
8. toilet paper lint
9. big mom with son
10. very big moms

And, as a bonus, my seriously fucking favorite google search of all time:
11. milk my udder i am a cow

I can't figure out if I'm more disturbed that people are searching for these things, that there's a shitload of porn with these themes, or that, amidst all that porn, in the first page of Google results, people are finding my blog.