If I were Max, I'd punch that bossy, big-eared bitch

From Nick Jr.:

Max & Ruby is a half-hour animated comedy series based on the children's books by Rosemary Wells. Each episode centers on Max, a determined three-year-old bunny, and his big sister, Ruby, a smart, goal-oriented seven-year-old. The show offers an empowering message for children by showing Max and Ruby playing together and resolving their differences in ways that are respectful and supportive.

What really happens on the show is that Max is always minding his own business, trying to do some fun shit like play with his toy firetruck or dig up some worms, and his big sister comes along and kills his happiness. The kid is three years old and can't even get a word in because Ruby is always yapping at him. "Don't dig in the dirt, Max. I'm trying to have a tea party with my Bunny Scout friends." "Max, let's create a floral arrangement." "No, Max, you can't play in the bathtub because we need to bake a cake for Grandma's birthday."

Max should just punch that bitch in the face and shut her up, already.

I bet Ruby's from Scarsdale.


Michael said...

I dunno. I think Max always ends up the winner. He does pretty well for himself. Like the time of the Easter Egg hunt in the backyard when Ruby found all the eggs -- but Max twice ended up with the chocolate treats (one a duck, the other ??) the Easter Bunny left.

Or, the book where Ruby wanted to buy him pants that were on sale, but he slipped away, got a shirt, got ice cream on it, and Ruby ended up having to buy it.

Max rocks!
-Mike (who apparently watches too much of his kids' TV shows)

Audrey said...

Oh, don't get me wrong. I think Max is an awesome little bunny. I just want to know why Ruby is such a bossy hag. Can't she just cut the kid some slack? And also, where are the parents? Are they off on business trips, or holed up in some cheap bunny brothel smoking crack? Why is Ruby raising her three year old brother? And if he's three, why can't he speak in sentences? They need to get off the pipe and find that kid a speech therapist.